One of the things I struggle with as a stepmother is that I don’t feel love for the Kids. I like them a lot; for the most part I enjoy their company. But I don’t love them, and…my dirty little secret is that I’m not sure I want to love them. And then the Guilt descends.
But then I read the most recent post from Momastery, a guest post written by another Moma – Rachel, the Hands Free Mama. She writes about Love as a reference point and how showing a little love is the one guaranteed “right” thing a parent can do each day. In the middle of this essay on love she had a paragraph that stood out to me:
But then you attend an end-of-the-year school program. (And no matter what age the children are, this always happens.) You see a child on stage scanning the crowd with eager, almost frantic, eyes. And then suddenly, her eyes stop. As she enthusiastically waves at a focal point in the crowd, a visible sigh of relief comes from her small chest. If you follow her gaze to see what brought her such great comfort, you will see love etched across the face of the person who met her gaze. That child found her reference point, her source of comfort, her go-to place in times of uncertainty and doubt—and it made all the difference.
As I teared up reading the above I started thinking. I may not Love the Kids…not like their parents do, but I’ve seen that look from them. When I walk into the school auditorium for Laura’s Honor Society induction ceremony or Kelly’s band concert and their searching eyes meet mine, they light up. I have shown up for them and that makes a difference.
Does it matter that I love them like their parents do? Or does it matter more that I show up?
[…] my recent post about how important it is to show up it turned out I had my own opportunity to show up this week […]